Another Reason Why I Hate Quentin Tarantino Movies

I think I've elaborated to most everyone involved with this blog as to why I dislike the vast majority of Quentin Tarantino movies, but I'll review, just in case. The main reason is that he thinks it's cool when people are too cool to realize that their situation is cool, even as the cool stuff is happening. Like Reservoir Dogs or Kill Bill 1 (I actually liked 2 quite a bit) or Pulp Fiction (Which I really never understood the appeal of), where the main characters are these super badasses that are completely calm and collected when shit starts to go down, and much ado seems to be made of little things like demeanor and poise in a situation when nobody is watching. It's like they're always posing for the camera, very aware of the audience. Breaking the fourth wall without the director being self-aware enough to relize he's doing it, or having enough humor to joke about it in any but the most macho, "Yeah I'm doing X but I could still kick your ass" way.

This unrealism leads me to the new reason I hate Quentin Tarantino movies, which is that NOBODY TALKS LIKE A HUMAN BEING. Seriously. I was watching Grindhouse earlier, for the first time, and there's a scene where these women are in a car planning their day. They talk like every syllable they enunciate is specifically tailored to be as cool as is humanly possible. Like they choreographed the conversation beforehand. When you think about it, of COURSE they choreographed it, it was written months earlier and they'd probably gone over it dozens of times! It's just so nonsensical that the usual goal of making dialogue believable is completely tossed out the window so the director can get his jollies. And you know that Tarantino is aware of this, thinks it's the coolest thing ever, is also aware that some people like it, AND THINKS THAT HE'S COOL FOR TURNING A CONVENTION ON ITS HEAD! eGAD but that man drives me insane!

The thing is, he would probably be fun to have as a friend. He's just a normal dude who had no ear for dialogue, like most of us. The difference is that this is his GOAL, his STYLE! Most people don't become directors because they would make dialogue sound like Quentin Tarantino, were they to direct a film. I guess there's something to be said for being that self-confident.

Just one more thing: The reason I think I liked Kill Bill 2 is that people FREAKED OUT when stuff happened! When that one woman killed that dude, he was all like SHIT SHIT SHIT! Then she got her eye poked out, and she was like "I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" But were it a normal Tarantino movie, the man would, upon being bitten by the snake, turn to his antagonist and say something to the effect of "...You fucking cunt..." before dropping dead. And the woman would immediately regain her composure and be all cool as a cucumber after LOSING HER EYE. Granted, the last confrontation was kind of lame in that way, but I felt he got away from his signature style for a good portion of the movie, which was commendable.