I think the title says it all. I'm gonna go to hawaii, work at some dead-end job, surf and swim every day and just fuck the god damn fucking world. I would miss you guys, but honestly I wouldn't really miss the rest of the world right now. My family? Pshaw! Half of them hate me a little, the other half is estranged because I'm too uncomfortable around the ones who hate me. School? I think I'd like doing jack shit all day a lot better. And who says they don't have community colleges in Hawaii, if I ever wanted to go back to it? It would start as like a vacation, sun and sand and beautiful beaches, then when my money ran out I'd get a job. You know, or sleep on the streets and beg for change.
What do you guys know about moving out of state? I mean, I've lived in California for my entire adult life, short though that may be. is it difficult to get your driver's license transferred or something? Do you have to take another test, or is it just a straight-up like one for one trade sort of thing?
I started out about an hour ago on this, but it's seeming more and more attractive. Worst case, I come back here in a couple months disgraced and having to take another year at Harbor. There are much worse things than that. Maybe I'll do it this summer? Or maybe I'll do it now. Just fuck everything. FUCK IT ALL. I'm currently weeping, isn't that stupid? God damn it, I hate the way I can't handle rejection at all. Any stupid setback and I'm practically catatonic.
I find the transience of human emotion and sentiment a heart-rending thing. Case in point, my little cousin. She's four... I've spoken about her before, I'm sure, and I haven't seen her in about three months. Apparently she asked about me at first, but now she doesn't. Isn't that a thing? I'm going to throw up. Not to be melodramatic, but seriously. She doesn't even remember me.
I'm really, really going to leave and just never return. Like, that's not even a "AND THEN YOU'LL MISS ME" kind of thing, even. I'm just saying, I'm miserable right now. My parents are stupid and full of bullshit and I'm probably going to be worked like a god damn dog at any school I go to anyway. Then, I'll have a dead-end job where I'm worked like a dog again, until I die. God I get depressed easily. Ugh.
Thinking About Saying Fuck It, Going to Hawaii, and Never Coming Back
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 Remarks:
Okay, about this. First and foremost, you need to realize how foolish this sounds. But lets take a second and look at this rationally.
You have a lot of stuff that you can't just pack away. Lets face it, you aren't going to throw away your awesome desk.
How much money do you have anyway? Do you know how much a ticket to Hawaii is? Especially if you want to leave tomorrow? $542 with a stop in Phoenix. Not to mention when you get out there you aren't going to be able to find an apartment right away, so hotels. And then you need to buy a surfboard, which anyone can tell you aren't cheap.
You aren't the kind of person that would work at a juice bar, have a crazy valley accent, and just surf all day, cause I can tell you right now, you won't have money for great internet, nor will you have the place for all that.
Lets look at the alternative. You have a month to find a place (probably better, cause now you know what NOT to look for) and worse comes to worse, you have friends that will help you. Next, you only have a few more months before you go to college, which is free blazingly fast internet. You're parent's house is going to sell (or in Escrow, right?) And all of a sudden you are going to find yourself with cash that goes to you and not to anything else.
Besides, who the fuck do you know in Hawaii? You have a ton of friends that love and care for you right here. And lets face it, do you really want to deal with storms, tsunamis, and hurricanes? Come on, the weather here is irresistible.
Sams right dude, in a month the semester will be practically over, then you just have to chill out for 3 months, and then your set for the next 3 years at cal poly, you gotta keep your eyes on the prize. And that zelda thing, dude shes 4 she remembers you, its just think back to when you were 10, and you had to wait a week for something, that was an eternity, now not so bad, shes 4, the few months you've been gone has been like years in our lives, she still knows you, and im sure she misses you.
sam! just cuse i wanted to open a juice bar in hawaii, and surf all day does not mean I have a valley accent.
Post a Comment